It made me mad. Meg Jay, psychologist and author of “The Defining Decade” wants you to believe that success and happiness will pass you by if you don’t have your career and spouse nailed down before you turn 30.

Come on.

Her Ted Talk was hard for me to watch because I want to think that life provides countless opportunities to reinvent yourself. It has many chapters. Why do you need to have everything figured out in your 20s?

Here’s why:

Doors start to close the longer you wait. Your status as a prodigy begins to erode. Leadership qualities among 20-year olds are extraordinary. By 35, they’re expected. The things you do in your 20s, and the contacts you make, can set you up for an explosive career and better quality of life. Hold onto the early mover advantage.

If you don’t watch the whole 14-minute Ted Talk, watch 5:40-7:00 starting with the Leonard Bernstein quote: “To achieve great things you need a plan and not quite enough time.”

So what should you be doing in your 20s? Three things:

1. Decide what and who are worth your time. Jay is on to something with “exploration versus procrastination.” The days that you’re the boss of your own time are fleeting. Down the road, you’ll need to make choices between family, work, personal interests, etc.  Now is when you’re free to take risks, to travel, gamble on a start-up or learn a new hobby… all in the name of exploration and developing your “personal brand.”

2. Build your personal brand. This is who you want to be when you grow up. What you like and what you stand for. What you post about on Facebook. If you want to run your own social media consultancy, have a supportive family, and take a month off every summer to travel, start laying the groundwork now. What do you need to do to become that person? What things are consistent with your personal brand and what are distractions? Be ambitious and edit ruthlessly.

3. Recognize life-changing moments. Half the battle is being convicted about your goals and pursuing activities and friendships that will help you achieve them. If you’re doing stuff that’s meaningful to you rather than “kicking the can down the road,” as Jay says, you’ll inevitably put yourself in situations or stumble on opportunities that will be life-defining. Run towards the difficult decisions.

Advice for college grads and 30-somethings!

Ever since Jenifer Cameli found this note in a conference room, I’ve been trying to work it into a blog post. It wasn’t until this weekend that I found my muse.

It was the swim start at the Rev3 Quassy triathlon in Middlebury, CT. A breathtaking, quintessential New England town just 10 minutes from Sandy Hook.

Three of us are standing on the beach, surveying the lake, not talking. Waiting for your swim wave to go off is like getting ready to jump out of a plane. Not only could you pass out from the fear and anticipation, but there’s a dull flashing signal in the back of your brain saying “You might die.”

Usually I take solace in the idea that the race will be cake once I get out of the water, but in this case, the bike is 25 miles of relentless hills and treacherous turns. No chance to pick up speed and nothing but climbing. It’s just abusive.

The other girls are thinking the same thing, because my friend Jodi looks up and says wryly: “Well guys, thanks for roping me into this.” This reminds me exactly of the sticky note from the conference room. And the unspoken second sentence: “But I’m glad you’re here.”

For the next 3 hours we battled that course, and it was 100 times better knowing my friends were out on the field. They’d be there at the finish and we could high five each other and say, “Good job!”

Next time you find yourself frowning and apologizing “Sorry to drag you into this,” don’t forget to add the “I’m glad you’re here” part. Maybe even a high five.

Posted by Mary Ann Kelly

I once received a goodbye email that started: “As many of you know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”

Then, in painstaking detail, the email listed every offense and mistreatment this person had endured for the past 7 years. It was a train wreck! I’ve saved it to this day and at one point, had it hung in my cube as a What not to do.

Indeed, your resignation may seem like an apropos time to explain your decision or finally let your boss and colleagues know what you really think of them. It may seem timid or against your values to go gently into the night, without commentary, but that is exactly what you should do!

In this post, we talk about what a signoff email is and what’s it not.

What it is:

• The primary purpose of your email is to let your colleagues know you’re leaving and that your contact information is changing. Especially if you’re sending a mass email to the entire company, the theme should be functional, concise and professional.

• It may also provide instruction for what to do in your absence, who will be handling your former duties, etc. E.g. “Please direct all future correspondence to my boss.”

• Finally, you may wish to thank your colleagues and mention what a pleasure it’s been to work with them.

What it’s not:

• You may be tempted to make observations about your employer, or reveal the icky details of your departure, as did Andrew Mason, the former CEO of Groupon, who wrote to his employees: “After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired today. If you’re wondering why… you haven’t been paying attention.” Not saying we don’t appreciate his sense of humor! But instead of blasting an email like this that will follow you around for years, consider the small subset of people you want to tell your innermost thoughts and have the conversation with them.

Tips:

• Discuss a strategy for telling your co-workers and clients with your boss before you break the news. It may even be prudent to ask your boss to vet an email before you send it out. Why? To anticipate any sensitivity or questions that may arise and prepare a response.

• Aim for a warm, appreciative tone. If that’s truly not possible, neutral and courteous is best.

• You don’t need to provide details around your departure or disclose where you’re going. A smug, boastful or gleeful email is likely not how you want your colleagues to remember you. Humble and respectful is good: “I’ve enjoyed working with you all, though recently made the difficult decision to pursue something different.” It’s okay to be completely silent on your rationale too.

• If time permits, write a draft farewell email and sleep on it before you send it. Allowing a bit of time to pass will help quiet your emotions and gain perspective. Your goal is to not publish something impulsively that you’ll later regret.

• If you’re passing along new contact information, you may want to send your email from this account rather than your work one. That way you’ll receive the replies that roll in after you leave. Especially face-saving if your work account will be forwarding to a co-worker, or yikes, your boss. Imagine after you’ve been mindful not to say anything mean, you BFF replies “Oh good, you’re finally leaving that POS.”

• Finally, update all your social accounts and/or logins to ensure nothing goes to your work address after you’ve left.

Here is a sample email:

Hello All,
I want to take this opportunity to say goodbye and let you know that today is my last day at work.
It’s been a sincere pleasure working with all of you, though I recently made the difficult decision to pursue something different.

Please direct all future correspondence to my manager; he/she will be handling my projects in the immediate future.

I hope we can keep in touch! My personal email is: yourniceco-worker@gmail.com

Wishing you all the best,

Mary Ann

For more tips on how to resign gracefully, check out this and this.

Swen Graham, Foursquare’s Head of National Strategy & Sales Solutions Talks About What’s New

JS:           Swen, I know plenty of people that would love to have your job. How did you get to Foursquare?

SG:         Three years ago I decided to take a job with Quattro Wireless, a mobile advertising network. It was a Marketing Manager role. I was charged with designing all the sales materials, figuring out how to market our products to advertisers, website development, etc.

It was a departure from my role as a Sr. Strategic Analyst at Y&R, and more of an unknown than other companies I was considering, but the start-up world had always been intriguing, and I’ve been a big mobile geek since I got my hands on the first generation iPhone, so I figured what the hell?

As luck would have it, I was in the right place at the right time. Seven months after I joined, Quattro was acquired by Apple. Initially it was business as usual, but eventually we built and rolled out the iAd advertising platform, scrapped the old business, and my role evolved into what would become the Creative + Strategy team.

Steven Rosenblatt ran the sales and revenue operation at Quattro Wireless and continued on in the same role at Apple. Anyways, he joined Foursquare as CRO about a year ago and gave me a call about getting the band back together. We got to talking about what he was building over there, and I wanted in.

JS:           Wow, you were lucky to be at the right place at the right time, but you could’ve easily been tossed out during Quattro’s acquisition. You seem to have aligned yourself with the company’s leaders and visionaries.

SG:         I feel very lucky. To his credit, Andy Miller, who was CEO and co-founder at Quattro and reported directly to Steve Jobs post-acquisition, made it a priority to keep the team intact.

JS:           What’s it like working for Foursquare?

SG:         I’m really enjoying it. I find it’s a lot of fun building out the business and revenue side of what was already a huge success as a company. We just launched our Promoted Updates, which was our first ad product in the summer – serving up contextually-based advertising and offers based on smart proximity to a client’s business.

We’re solving a problem that hasn’t been addressed before in the same way. Location-based advertising is a relatively new thing. For a long while, local couponing by Valpak and store circulars was about as close as you could get. Now that Smartphone penetration has passed 60% in the US, you can see how mobile advertising can really move market share.

I read a statistic that the average Millennial changes media 27 times in one hour. Making sure your ad is seen isn’t the toughest nut to crack any longer. Now it’s about delivering it at a relevant time and location so customers can act on it.

Culturally, Foursquare is definitely a hustle environment. We’re only a 160-person company – with 11 of us in our group – to support 33 million users. There’s a great culture of transparency and collaboration. Every week, we hold a company-wide meeting where you can ask any question that’s on your mind and we have a system in place where any employee can see what anyone else is working on. Very different than how things work at Apple.

JS:           What’s your job at Foursquare?

SG:         It’s basically creative services for the monetization effort. I work with agencies, brands, and internal teams to come up with revenue-generating ideas leveraging what Foursquare can do. I figure out how Foursquare markets itself to the ad community and develop all the sales presentation and support materials for our sales team, as well as meet with clients and other folks in the industry.

JS:          What new services are you working on?

SG:         There are a couple big ones right now:

• Local discovery & search. These are promotional updates that are pushed into your Foursquare feed based on smart proximity, e.g. a Mexican restaurant is running a special menu item, and they want people in the neighborhood who are interested in having lunch to know about it.

• Special deals for cardholders. We’re working with AMEX and other credit card companies to offer deals to our users based on certain spend thresholds that the business can define.  This is great for users because they save money just by swiping a card synced with Foursquare, and it’s great for businesses because they can increase the basket size of the average purchase.

For example, if we know the average spend at a particular retailer is $15; we might run a deal where AMEX cardholders get $2 off $20. The beauty of these specials is that they’re applied automatically and credited on the backend. You don’t need to show the coupon, which is key for national retailers who don’t want to train 10,000 employees nationwide every time they decide to try a marketing initiative.

We have some additional products that we’re working on rolling out in the coming months but I have to keep those under wraps for now.

You can read about more new developments on the Foursquare blog.

JS:           What are typical response rates?

SG:         We are seeing 5-10x more than what I have seen from other mobile campaigns in terms of engagement. And not only are we driving a click, we’re getting people actually into the business. I think this is because they’re extremely relevant to location and context of a particular user. In my opinion, disruptive advertising doesn’t work very well for mobile. No one wants pop-up ads on their phone. It’s always been my aim in mobile to create “additive” advertising experiences, e.g. have them contribute meaningfully to your Foursquare experience.

JS:           What skills do you need to flourish at Foursquare?

SG:         I think there is a counterbalance dynamic between monetization and product. On one hand, you need to create revenue opportunities. On the other, you have to make sure those endeavors don’t hurt the product and drive away users over time. It’s about balancing the short- and long-term. It’s like that line from Jurassic Park when Jeff Goldblum’s character says that the scientists were so busy wondering if they could that they didn’t stop to consider if they should. We spend a lot of time thinking about if we should. I guess it’s similar to the tug o’ war between Creative and Account. You’ve got to be able to bridge the goals of both and that’s what makes a stronger product for all users, whether they’re consumers or advertisers.

Want to know how to talk to your clients about using Foursquare? Reach Swen here.

I still don’t know if I have the magic formula, so I was happy when Pete Van Bloem turned me on to this article about how to manage employees to get the best results.

Here’s the main takeaway:

“In my experience, this idea of describing the outcome and letting a skilled professional determine how best to get there often results in a more committed worker, higher quality work, and a proud employee. Describe the outcome you are trying to achieve, be clear on the requirements, and preserve the worker’s autonomy.”

Classic Expect versus Inspect. Teach them to fish rather than feed them for a day.

If you were to write your own advice to managers — How would it go?

Here’s mine, written as a worker’s manifesto:

1. I want to come to the conclusion on my own rather than being told what to do.
2. At the same time, I don’t want to guess at what you want.
3. I want the freedom to make my own decisions. I want to have ownership over my job and responsibilities.
4. You are my best example of how to act.
5. Show me you value my opinion by including me in the solution.

Curious to hear yours!

Contributed by Mary Ann Kelly

LinkedIn is celebrating its 10^th anniversary this year and has grown to more than 200 million users worldwide. That’s a pretty awesome stage for your professional bio! You want to make sure people can find you, and that your profile is readable and up-to-date. This week’s post is how to put your best foot forward.

As a recruiter, I’m on LinkedIn for hours every day (yes, hours!) and I’ve seen a wide variety of profiles. Some have made me laugh, some have confused me, but overall the best profiles tell me the following:

• Summary – Who is this person and what is their skill set? Years of experience? What are their goals?
• Experience – How long have they stayed at each job? (I prefer when people use months and years) What did they accomplish at each company? What types of tactics/programs did they create for clients?
• Education – When did they graduate? Did they do anything noteworthy in school?
• Recommendations – What are colleagues saying? Whose recommendations did they choose to highlight, and are these credible/valuable? Did they write recommendations for others? (I use this as a proxy how sincere/helpful/personable they are)
• Groups – Do we have any groups in common? What do these groups say about this candidate? About their experience?
• Following – What companies is this person following? How many connections do they have? How active are they on LinkedIn? (Another proxy for how sociable they are)

LinkedIn is defined as a social networking website for people in professional occupations. Emphasis on professional. This is important to keep in mind when you are creating and updating your profile.

Let’s begin with your Profile Picture. First – include one. If I don’t see a picture I’m suspicious that you are not who you say you are. Bear in mind that this isn’t Facebook. The people you are connected to on LinkedIn are business colleagues and prospective employers, so you want to choose a photo that suggests your professionalism. You may love that beach photo of yourself from vacation – when you were*really* tan – but bathing suit shots are probably not the best choice. Neither is that one of you playing beer pong or smooching your hot date/baby/pet. Thanks for making our lives more interesting though!

I’m all for an approachable, “fun” picture that hints at your personality or interests, but Too Much Information, personal details, etc. lead me question your judgment.

Next is the Summary. Your summary can be written in a number of ways. Don’t be afraid to incorporate some of the quirky/cool things that make you a standout. This will help to make your profile memorable and help people relate to you. Go for a tone that’s clever, concise and entertaining versus lifeless and vague corporate speak. It’s a narrative or bio more than a resume. For search purposes – ensuring people find you – choose keywords that highlight your skills and interests. For example, social media analysts may want to mention Sysomos and Radian6.

I look at Recommendations and what connections we have in common as ways to vet your qualifications, as well as get a sense of your unique strengths. Who thinks you’re great? I want to see business partners, supervisors and clients. (I know your spouse and your mom believe you walk on water.)

The recommendations you write for other people give me insight into the type of manager you are. If you’ve taken the time to write a recommendation this tells me that you are also the kind of manager who will go to bat for their team.

Groups are important for two reasons: They tell me what you’re interested in and who you socialize with, and 2) Groups quickly expand your network and give you access to more profiles and contact options. If you’re not rabid about inviting people to connect, here’s a great way to increase your connections and visibility.

And speaking of Connections… They’re important because they define your LinkedIn experience. You gain access and visibility to people when they’re connected to your personal network. The bigger your network of 1^st degree connections, the more quickly your 2^nd and 3^rd-degrees will grow. Of course, connections are only meaningful if they’re people you want to talk to. This should guide your “friending” behavior. The objective is to promote visibility and connectedness to people in your industry or that share mutual interests.

I evaluate Connections to see who we have in common, understand what circles you travel in, and identify who could provide references or insights on you. I make decisions about you based on who you hang out with, so it’s good to be selective.

Last, the hidden gem and often overlooked part of LinkedIn: Activity. Unless you edit the default privacy settings, other LinkedIn users can tell if you looked at their profile, edited your own, who you connected to recently, plus other recent activity. No kidding! Upticks in editing and networking activity can often signal that someone is stepping up their job search. While you could want your network and recruiters to recognize this, you may not want your current employer to catch on.

Hopefully, it’s helpful to know how me and other hiring professionals use LinkedIn and view your profile. Finding a job may not be the primary reason you’re here, but a well-executed profile can pay back in a million ways – from unlocking opportunities to meeting influential and like-minded people to reconnecting with former colleagues. LinkedIn is the best possible platform for publishing and achieving your professional bucket list, as their anniversary campaign suggests: Imagine what we can do.

Have a question about your LinkedIn profile? Email me.

And check out these other tips for making your profile awesome.

The video is a great help for all of us in the creative field of advertising, where we’re expected to be clever and dialed-in all the time. It’s hard to pull rabbits from hats morning, noon and night, isn’t it? To write an award-winning ad or pitch deck in an hour – especially during those times when you’re feeling less than prolific.

In case you don’t have the time or inclination right now to watch the 13-minute video (it took me 5 months!), here are the most useful bits:

1.  When battling a creativity vacuum, give yourself 90 minutes to dwell without distraction on the problem you need to solve.

2.  Don’t permit yourself to procrastinate: “It’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things – like thinking – that aren’t urgent.” You can only enter “open mode” once your mind is free from nagging chores. (3:45-4:08) Open mode describes the ideal conditions for ideation. Closed mode is best for fighter pilot-like implementation.

3.  Be comfortable that the best idea may not be your first idea. (7:11-7:43) “Give your mind as long as possible to come up with something original.”

4.  Use humor to dispel anxiety, discomfort and achieve original thought sooner. The more you agonize over how to say something, the further you travel from saying what you mean.

Cleese’s prescription reminds me of that saying, “You can’t see the forest thru the trees.” In other words, it’s hard to have an expansive view when you’re knocking around on the forest floor. You need to rise above the daily distractions. Or, as Cleese puts it:

“This is the extraordinary thing about creativity: If just you keep your mind resting against the subject in a friendly but persistent way, sooner or later you will get a reward from your unconscious.”

Thanks John Cleese and Bill Hewson!

That’s the trick to good networking, right? Make it easy and attractive for the other person to help you.

We’ve all plagued by bad networking. For example, those invitations to connect on LinkedIn that often come in with the template message and no other explanation. Or, one step above, “I was hoping we could arrange a quick call.” Makes you want to go back to “Mad Men” days when a gatekeeper would respond for you, “Yes, is she expecting your call? And what is this regarding?”

So, let’s say you just signed up for a networking event. Here are 5 tips to help you get the most out of it:

1.   Study the attendee list. If there’s one available, or ask around to find out who’s going. A quick shout out to your Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn friends can quickly accomplish this and ensure you’ll know people there. Your confidence and networking mojo will flow a lot easier if there are familiar faces around who can introduce you to new people.  Plus, knowing who’s going in advance can save you the embarrassment of forgetting a name. I do this with my husband before we go to one of his unruly family functions with 42 cousins: “What’s their daughter’s name again?”

2.   Do some pre-game research. Who do you absolutely want to meet? And what’s your agenda once you’re talking to them? What’s the best way to approach the conversation? Here’s where it’s useful to do research before the event. Find some things you can connect over, e.g. You have kids the same age, you’re both marathon runners, you support the same charity.

People dread networking events because they expect to be accosted by business pitches. Leading with business is an amateur move. Shared interests establish credibility and demonstrate that you’re done your homework. They make small talk more meaningful and enjoyable.

3.   Set goals for the event. Why are you going? What do you want to get out of this? Chances are you’re not going to close business over cocktails and crab puffs, but you CAN meet important business contacts that will put the wheels in motion. Imagine the flow of your conversation: The key questions you want to ask them, clever sound bites about you and what you do, etc. If you have only 30 seconds, what are the critical points you want to communicate?

4.   Now relax. No one wants to hang around with someone always on the make. Once you’ve said what you need to, or established a connection, back off. Settle into the conversation, enjoy yourself, and ask sincere questions. Take cues from their body language and eye contact. If you’re talking to the host, or another sought-after person, respect their time and obligations. Mingle versus monopolize.

5.   Cement your relationship. So you’ve succeeded in making a “contact.” Happy day. The only way they’re going to remember you a week from now is if you establish a connection after the event. Send them an email or a LinkedIn invite within 24 hours. Bonus points if you deliver something you talked about, e.g. Here’s a link to that mobile article I told you about, or Check out this company for business insurance.

That’s it. Sounds like common sense, but you’d be surprised at how many people goof this up because their ambitions get the best of them.

Have a networking tip? Let’s hear it!

Maybe you don’t have to imagine. Maybe this situation is unfolding for you this very moment. We’ve had an unprecedented year for mergers & acquisitions in our industry. Often these new alliances get off to a rocky start, fraught with speculation and rumors that ultimately lead to stellar talent leaving.

There has to be a way to circumvent this painful adjustment period… A way to communicate the master plan to you – a manager and leader – so you can make your team feel safe and optimistic about the future.

That’s the topic of this week’s post: Effective merger communications.

Let’s start with where communications breakdown. When a merger or sale is announced, the immediate focus is often directed at external clients and investors. There’s a lot of talk about why the merger is super duper fantastic for the company, its customers and shareholders. Meanwhile, nothing’s said about what’s top of mind for employees: Its impact on job stability and career trajectory.

Best Practice #1: Address Employee Concerns

Merger communications that don’t answer fundamental questions, like Who will I report to? Will I get the promotion or bonus that’s been promised to me? What should I tell my clients? Will I have a job next week? are a big miss. Says one agency executive, “Most people don’t like change and become even more anxious when the future isn’t clear.”

If agency leadership is silent, ambiguous or takes too long to communicate its vision, conjecture and speculation can often lead employees to envision a much worse reality. “Make it your priority to quickly establish the new chain of command, reporting relationships, account ownership, etc.,” advises a Client Service Director. “No news is disconcerting. We understand if all the details haven’t been worked out or can’t be shared. But acknowledge what’s on everyone’s minds and define a timeline for when questions will be answered.”

Best Practice #2: Move Quickly to Retain Your Best

Everyone assumes mergers create staff redundancies and are the precursor for layoffs, but retention can be a real issue too as uncertainty about job security and cultural assimilation lead employees to consider other opportunities. Not to mention, once word hits the street, all the best people become targets for poaching.

Once the dust settles, employees often find themselves in an environment of more business than resources. Long hours and murkiness about reporting structure can lead those who stay to wonder if their contributions are being noticed.

If job security can’t be immediately guaranteed, rewarding their commitment and making them feel part of the future vision can inspire loyalty. I recall that one of my former employers offered a 10% retention bonus for those that stayed thru the agency transitioning our account to a sister company. No kidding, that was a nice touch, but it doesn’t always have to be monetary. Anything that conveys the idea that your best players are critical to the company’s success is meaningful.

Do you have a Best Practice to add? Please leave a comment or email me directly here.

Have you ever been part of a discussion that was so mind-numbingly tedious or illogical it caused you to draw in your breath and beg the universe to MAKE IT STOP?

This happens a lot in the DMV, or on customer service calls, where people invoke and cling to policies that don’t make sense. Often there’s a simple answer, but they just keep returning to the same maddening script. It sucks, plus it’s exasperating, because you ultimately have to become the jerk and ask to speak to their supervisor.

Can the supervisor make it stop? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Think about what happens when you get someone truly gifted, who can deliver you from foolishness (that’s ‘tonteria’ in Spanish), erase all the frustration and rage, even give you something for your suffering. Isn’t that the best?! Talking to the right person makes all the difference!

Are you in the middle of any Make it Stop situations at work? With clients or team members? Who’s the right person to talk to? The supervisor that will smooth everything over and make it all OK? What would they do and say? Now… Grasshopper… could you be that person?

Make it Stop practitioners get ahead. People listen to them. They seek them out because they know the Right Thing to Do. They take accountability. They get stuff done. They appreciate the value of a satisfied customer and enduring relationships.

The next time you find yourself in a infuriating, we’re going in circles situation, look at it as an opportunity to practice being a Make it Stop person. Detach yourself from the emotion and circumstance, have an outer body experience, gain some perspective and become the Make it Stopper. Do this again and again, more and more often and you will float up the ranks because people will seek out your leadership and good judgment. Go on, you have the power and the world needs more people like you.